“Sorry” is sacred, and I use it where it belongs.
Sorry, not sorry. Let’s reclaim this word.
As Canadians, “sorry” is as common as “hello!” It’s a beautiful word—one that helps build and repair relationships—but we’re using it too often, and it’s losing its value. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this word and how frequently I use it. Even in my yoga classes, when I mix up my right and left, I find myself muttering a quick “sorry.” But does that small misstep really warrant an apology? Probably not.
What truly made me reflect on this overuse was when my dear friend Prestonne shared her pregnancy news. She followed it up with an apology, as though this wonderful moment in her life needed to be softened by guilt because of how it might affect me, her business partner. It saddened me that an apology even entered the conversation for something so miraculous.
This kind of apologizing has become so common. I hear people say “sorry” for being too sensitive, too loud, or for stepping slightly out of their space in a yoga class. It’s almost a knee-jerk reaction—apologizing for simply being! This culture of over-apologizing impacts how we communicate, increasing feelings of unnecessary guilt. It can also chip away at self-esteem, making us feel as though we are always at fault or burdening others.
I believe it’s time to rethink this habit and find more accurate ways to express ourselves. For instance, instead of saying “sorry for being late,” try “thank you for waiting for me” or “thank you for your patience.” By retraining our brains to communicate more thoughtfully, we can reserve apologies for moments that truly require them. When the word “sorry” is used in the right context, it holds so much more meaning—it carries our hearts within it.
Here are some ways to break the “sorry habit” and shift our mindset:
Slow down and pause:
Take a moment before responding. Allow what’s been said or done to sink in before automatically apologizing. You may find that an apology isn’t necessary after all.
Practice empathy:
Instead of defaulting to “I’m sorry for what you’re going through,” try something that shows you’ve been listening, like “That sounds really challenging.” This conveys understanding without an unnecessary apology.
Set healthy boundaries:
Boundaries are essential for balanced, respectful relationships. Communicate your limits and needs clearly, without feeling the need to apologize for them. You have a right to those boundaries.
Apologies are a crucial part of human interaction, fostering understanding and repairing relationships. But when overused, they lose their meaning and can negatively impact both self-worth and communication. Let’s use them wisely, where and when they’re truly needed, to build stronger and more authentic connections.
By Nicole Whitman