Mantra of the Summer: Look for the Magic✨
We all know that gratitude makes life better. We’ve heard the inspirational quotes. We’ve done the gratitude journaling. We know all the celebrities and motivational speakers who practice gratitude daily before bed, or first thing in the morning. We know it works.
But man, it sure is hard to practice when you’re stuck in a rut.
Which I have been. Stuck in a rut.
Last month, I blogged about my mental health struggles of late. If you missed it, you can catch up HERE. Cole’s Notes: I had another kid, took on too many projects, lost my support systems, and wound up with a nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight mode for too long. Then wham – mental burnout. Overwhelm. Anxiety. It’s been a whole thing.
But I reeeeaaallllly practiced slowing down. Did you? Because I did.
I tried to do less every day. And it is working, although slower (pun intended) than I would like it to.
But the realization I’ve had while slowing down is this: I don’t just want to survive. I want to thrive. I want to enjoy my life.
It sounds so basic and obvious, I know. But I really want to enjoy this phase of my life. Even though every person with older kids tells me it’s hard and wild and overwhelming (and FAWK, it is!). But they also tell me that it passes just like that (snaps fingers), and man, will I miss it.
I don’t want to squander these years. I want to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy my babies while they’re still small enough to hold.
But… it’s so hard to find gratitude when you feel overwhelmed.
But… people, we just have to!
We have to look for the magic.
It’s there; we just have to start programming our minds to see it. We have to feel the gratitude. We have to take a deep breath and remember how freaking blessed we are to have been given this life, this job, this country, this fresh water, this land, and this body.
And the thing is, when you start practicing gratitude, it becomes easier for your brain to find gratitude. It’s addictive, in a sense.
Practicing gratitude physically alters the brain’s molecular structure by triggering neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s ability to form new connections. (I Googled it, so it must be true, right!?)
No, but seriously. Practicing gratitude regularly has the power to boost dopamine and serotonin production (the feel-good hormones), lower cortisol, and train the brain’s focus. Our brains naturally have a negativity bias, which makes it easier to focus on the hard stuff. But practicing gratitude regularly can help rewire those pathways and make it easier to find the magic.
A Few Unexpected Ways I’m Looking for the Magic
- Recognize that there are hard days. No toxic positivity here. But let’s just leave it as a day and not let it spiral into a week, yeah?
- Reduce alcohol consumption. Because it’s literally impossible to feel magical when you’re hungover.
- BREATHE. That physiological breath I teach in class every day? I call that one “magic breath” with my kids. We’ll be doing it every single day (three times!) as soon as we get into the car to take on the day’s adventure. Because packing up to go literally anywhere with three kids is hella stressful, and this helps us leave the stress behind.
- Make fewer plans. More “go with the flow,” less “push the wagon uphill.” Because some days the kids are unravelling, I haven’t slept, and I have to cancel the plans. Then I feel guilty, and it turns into this big downward spiral that I just don’t need. Less planning. Less commitment. More room for slowness. But also…
- Make more plans for ME to have fun. More date nights. More girls’ nights out (minus the booze because, well, see #2). Because as much fun as the pool, the beach, and camping are with my whole family, they are also SO MUCH WORK AND STRESS. And I need time for myself. Not just time to fold laundry alone. Actual leisure time. Fun time. This has been one of the biggest realizations to come out of counselling.
- Release guilt. Another huge takeaway from counselling. Unhealthy guilt is feeling guilty when you haven’t actually done anything wrong. And man, do moms have a lot of unhealthy guilt. It’s a whole thing, this “mom guilt.” So let’s release that one, yeah? Let’s lean a little more into #5 and let go of the guilt, because we haven’t done anything wrong. Taking time for yourself to find joy makes it easier to find joy every day.
- Look for the magic. Key word: Look! Search it out. Train your brain to find the positive. And when you do find it, savour it. Embrace it. Show gratitude for it. Take a sweet moment and breathe it in. The moments when no one complains about what’s been served for dinner. The nights when everyone gets a full 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. The yoga class that hits just right. The workout you absolutely slay. The belly laugh you share with a friend. The child who finally, finally, puts their own shoes on. The Pilates class you can feel the next day in all the right places. The text from a friend that arrives right when you needed it. The parking spot that’s right in front of where you need to be. (Tell me that’s not magic.) Fresh sheets on the bed after a long day. The rare moment when everyone gets in the car the first time you ask.
The little magical moments. They matter. Let them be more important than the negative ones.
Enjoy summer, folks. I’ll be seeing you on the mat!
With all my love, all summer long,
Prestonne Sehn